Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Another day of painting, this time the shower room walls. José and Guillermina wanted to have the decoration done tomorrow, the designer in me silently screamed no way - whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well (Lord Chesterfield), you just don't get a set of graphics done in a couple hours and expect it to be great. Again, I had to resort to examine the meaning of being of service - does it mean totally submiting to the wills of others, suspending one's own judgement, discarding one's own standard, in order to fulfil the needs of others? I feel conflicted. The same way I feel conflicted about the religious element in the daily life at CDLN (no one has forced me to follow their ritual, I just feel uncomfortable not blending in, yet hypocritical if I even try), and how I should handle questions I find too personal from casual aquaintances - there is obviously a different concept of personal space in South America. Not that I have come to any enlightening answer yet, but questioning oneself of the status quo lays the foundation for change and, hopefully, growth, I'll just take it one day at a time.